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Categories: Jokes
Added: Sat Dec 11 20:45:30 +0000 2004Views: 3,718
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“Embryonic stem cell research destroys a life. I am the first president to fund embryonic stem cell research.” – Second Debate with Kerry, 2004

“I hear there’s rumors on the, uh, Internets.” – Second Debate with Kerry, 2004

“Too many OBGYNs are unable to practice their love for women all over this country.” – Campaign Trail, 2004

“I need to be able to move the right people to the right place at the right time to protect you, and I’m not going to accept a lousy bill out of the United Nations Senate.” – South Bend, IN., October 31, 2002

“The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production.” – Washington, D.C., January 22, 2003

“When Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal.” – Washington, D.C., January 22, 2003

“The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorize himself.” – Grand Rapids, MI, January 29, 2003

“You’re free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it’ll take time to restore chaos and order . . . order out of chaos. But we will.” – Washington, D.C., April 13, 2003

“Laura and I really don’t realize how bright our children is sometime until we get an objective analysis.” – Meet The Press, April 15, 2000

”If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign." – Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

“I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.” – Greater Nashua, N.H., January 27, 2000

“How do you know if you don’t measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?” – Beaufort, S.C., February 16, 2000

“You fucking son of a bitch. I saw what you wrote. We’re not going to forget this.” – Bush to writer and editor Al Hunt, 1988

“Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to – - I can’t remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that.” – U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 22, 2001

“The liberal media and many of the pundits said I was stupid . . . They misunderestimated me.” – Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

“Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work.” – 60 Minutes II, Dec. 5, 2000

“We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.” – Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001

“I do remain confident in Linda. She’ll make a fine labor secretary. From what I’ve read in the press accounts, she’s perfectly qualified.” – Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001

“There is a role for government, but I understand how limited it is.” – The White House, March 16, 2001

“Education is a priority, and we need to focus on education. But I also remember where I came from.” – The White House, March 16, 2001

“We’re concerned about AIDS in our White House, make no mistake about it.” – Washington, D.C., February, 2001

“I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them.” – Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2000

“As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker.” – Bush to reporters in Crawford, Texas, Nov. 30, 2000

On Gore’s tax plan: “It’s going to require numerous IRA agents.” – Greensboro, NC, October 10, 2000

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.” – Saginaw, MI, September 29, 2000

“Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it.” – First Gore/Bush Debate, October 3, 2000

“I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions . . . I can’t answer your question.” – Reynoldsburg, OH, October 4, 2000

“We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.” – Somewhere on the campaign trail.

“Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we’re not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We’re a party that welcomes people.” – Cleveland, OH, July 1, 2000

“I’m for the fight against the war on breast cancer.” – To Gabe Pressman in an interview on NBC Television.

“If elected, I won’t treat Social Security like it’s some kind of Federal Program.” – George W. Bush on the stump in Des Moines, Iowa.

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Cindy News Network
Jan 1, 21:04
No doubt.
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